ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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