wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
