I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
