you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have demons in me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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