we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
