that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
