i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
