i barfeds in our rink
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
