it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
