Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
