Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
