he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
