We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
