There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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