Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
