he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
