Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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