she woke up with a sticky ear
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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