how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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