dude i'm inner monologue high
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize