have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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