Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Watching her eat just hurts me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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