I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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