Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
