what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
