i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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