Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize