3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize