woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
