I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
