Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize