i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
