Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
