i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this boner is exhausting
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
