look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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