well you can't waste a boner
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
