I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
