wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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