It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
