it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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