no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
