dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
