he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
