K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
