no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
