Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize