All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
