even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
