do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
