why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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