im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
