so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
