New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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