in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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