The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
