i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
