party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
