I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
