I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
