Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
