guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
