You work out of a Hotel?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
