Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
