I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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