go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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