that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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