he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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